|THE HENSEL TWIN'S' FAMILY ALBUM|
H I !
I'm Abbybrit , and welcome to my web site! People are always curious, so I made this blog to tell you about me. I'm in the fifth grade.
At recess, sometimes men grownups try to be friendly to me, but the janitor chases them away with the fire axe.
My friend Faye told me that a boy in our class likes me but he's geeky and shy, so I had her take this picture and give it to him so he'll talk to me.
But I don't think he likes me because when I saw the picture in his locker, he had blowed his nose on it!
Okay, everybody wants to know how I got like this. Well, it all started with Grandma Hensel (her hiney is on the other side).
Mommy says the Raelians genetically engineered her for a Japanese business man who kept her in a cage with a monkey, but I bet that's probably just a lie like Santa Claus.
|This is one of the pictures Uncle Louie took of me in high heels and blonde wigs. Don't I look pretty! He drinks a lot of grownup drinks every day. |
I found this picture in the guest room. Uncle Louie blowed HIS nose on my picture, too!
Mommy must like this one, because she took it away.
A lot of folks don't know it, but my sister Cindy has the opposite problem as me.
At Thanksgiving, Uncle Louie wanted her to make a movie in New Jersey with five men, but Daddy hit him and threw him out of our house.
Daddy must really HATE New Jersey!
|Here's a picture that my cousin Valentina's boyfriend took. |
His name is Leroy Slim and he wears diamond rings and a pretty fur coat. He isn't jealous like other boyfriends; in fact every night he brings LOTS of men home to visit her!
These days, nobody chases mutants away like in Elephant Man and X-Men. In fact, cousin Vickie is the most popular girl in the dorm!
She said that boys knock on her door ALL night long, usually two of them, starting right after the bars close... and some of the girls, too!
Gee, it must be GREAT to be popular!
When I asked mommy what a "dopplegang bang" is, she said it was a kind of dance grownups do.
I snuck in and took this picture of Vickie dancing with boys on a "double" date.
This is my cousin Brenda. Between us, we're almost two complete people!
|When Aunt Linda forgets to take her medicine, she always gets arrested for going bare in public. |
SILLY Aunt Linda!
|Vickie joined a club where everybody wears leather costumes like Batman. |
I'll NEVER understand grownups!!
|Here's Aunt Petunia getting some sun. |
Aunt Petunia doesn't talk very much!
|This is our family coat of arms...|
...and we welcome you with open arms!
|Finally, this is from our family reunion, with lots of "union" ...and intersection, too! |
It's the time when we all con-join hands!
Well, that's all, 'cause it's my bedtime now. Look how Uncle Louie tucks me in--he's FUNNY!!
I sure hope you liked my album!
—Abbybrit :-) :-)
Hi, I'm Faye, and I made this. That's right, a GIRL did it! You may not believe it, but I did *not* do it to ridicule the Hensel twins! In fact, I USED to be friends with them on myspace about 6 years ago, before they left for college and abandoned myspace (along with everybody else there). I made this page to piss someone ELSE off.
See, in an online forum, several people (verbally) beat up a 14 year-old kid named Sebastian who wondered, politely, about the twins' future sex life. For about a week, the kid said how sorry he is, how wrong he was for even THINKING about such a thing, and begged everyone's forgiveness in increasingly desperate and hysterical tones. Then suddenly, he was heard no more.
I don't know what happened to him.
I made this page to shock and punish the old ladies who, I fear, may have driven the boy to kill himself.
I also made it to show our American "culture" through the innocent eyes of a child who, for a while at least, can't perceive the ugliness that drove me to abandon it and go live naked in a cave in the woods for the past three years (link NSFW). I hacked the power grid and have wireless internet.
The weirdest thing is: that's actually true.
MMore pix of me and my cave
(no pix naked)
True story of what I let men do to me for three days nonstop (all pix naked)